


Withering Branch

by starrylitme



Series: I Want To Live; I'm Grateful I Was Born [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2, Super Dangan Ronpa 2.5
Genre: Altered Mental States, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Dates, Blood and Injury, Boys Kissing, Budding Love, Developing Friendships, Friendship/Love, Island Mode (Dangan Ronpa), M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Slice of Life, Suicidal Thoughts, Surreal, Two Minds One Body
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-28
Updated: 2018-04-28
Packaged: 2019-04-28 22:41:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14459349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrylitme/pseuds/starrylitme
Summary: To live an ordinary life, and die together with youOh, if that could come true“Things have really gone completely wrong, haven’t they?”“You really thought it’d be that easy?”Komaeda tries to relax and make friends. It doesn't go as well as one would hope.(Written for Komaeda's birthday!)





	Withering Branch

**Author's Note:**

> This one's definitely where things get...weird. They get pretty weird. This one is probably the least connected to the series although there are still references to previous fics here and there. Honestly strangely enough, this one is probably the most stand-alone besides the first. So if you're just reading this one alone...okay.
> 
> This one's interesting, I think, because it's the lead-up to the OVA. Some stuff here was inspired by other things I've read. I hope you enjoy, at least.
> 
> Zanka is my favorite of the songs, btw. =w=

_“Hey, can you hear me? You haven’t forgotten me, have you?”_

* * *

There’s a lot he doesn’t really remember and a lot more that he feels is missing.

But since he doesn’t know for sure, it’s not something he concerns himself with. Especially since there are more worrying matters at hand.

_Such as that certain Ultimate who didn’t remember truly concerning things._

“No luck recalling anything, huh, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata, grimacing at his cards, merely shook his head. With a laugh, Komaeda laid down his cards to win the game then and there. Hinata’s eyes bulged, and he made a funny sound. Komaeda simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, Ultimate Cards Player was at least worth a shot.”

Hinata groans, running a hand down his face.

“It’s... It’s fine. Thanks. Sorry that this was a bust, too.”

“I’m sorrier,” Komaeda said, puffing his cheeks. “If my luck were really worth anything, then I would’ve guessed your talent correctly first thing. But instead it’s proving a difficult mystery to uncover.”

_But his talent has to be something. Should I just think more out of the box? Perhaps it’s something truly niche. Stamp Collector, after all? But there’s no way to test a talent like that... There aren’t any letters, much less stamps on this island._

How troubling.

“Hinata!! There you are!!”

Komaeda perked up as Souda snatched up Hinata’s arm.

“C’mon bro, we’ve got collecting duty at the ocean! I already picked out your speedo!”

“I already told you I wasn’t wearing that!” Hinata snapped but let Souda pull him up and away all the same.

“Aww! Don’t you want to match?!”

“No, I don’t!” Hinata turned to Komaeda briefly, pulling a face looking for someone to save him.

_Aha, sorry, Hinata-kun. But, for the sake of hope..._

“I think matching speedos sounds wonderful, Hinata-kun!” he chirped. “Such a beautiful show of friendship! It’s befitting of the ever incredible Ultimates!”

“Ko _mae_ da!”

Souda, however, scrunched up his face.

“Do you have to put it like that? Hinata and I are bros, yeah, but being Ultimates is only a small part of that.” He huffs. “I swear, dude, not everything’s about talent.”

Komaeda flinched, and his gaze flickered to Hinata’s expression. Hinata’s widening gaze, the way he averts his eyes uncertainly...

“Come on, Hinata.”

“Oh, right,” Hinata answers almost distantly. Hinata tosses a look over his shoulder as Souda gets moving, dragging him along. “Later, Komaeda.”

“...See you,” he said softly, raising his hand for a brief wave. His hand dropped as he watched the two of them go, the two of them bantering, making faces at each other.

_They really do get along, don’t they? Hinata-kun. Souda-kun._

He was happy for them, really. Very happy. Ultimates getting along so well was such a _wonderful_ thing, wasn’t it?

Quietly, Komaeda gathers up the cards.

_Come to think of it... Hinata-kun gets along so well with everyone. Hinata-kun’s pretty social, isn’t he? Maybe that’s his talent. What a wonderful talent, then._

Not everything was about talent, Souda said.

_Souda-kun really is an idiot if he thinks that. It must be easy to think, though. When you have a natural talent that’s celebrated and praised—then it can be hard to realize that there are people who are struggling because they lack talent._

Those people weren’t worth thinking about, though.

_Just like penguins envying birds soaring above them—there’s just no point. It’s a waste of energy._

Komaeda straightens the deck and clicks the case shut.

_You must focus on what you can do and what you can provide rather than what’s out of reach._

That was all there was to it.

And yet, thinking of the others smiling and getting along, well...

He still wasn’t immune to the feeling of loneliness, it seems.

_How foolish. It’s not like I deserve anything less._

* * *

It was spring when the school year started, but here on Jabberwock, it’s like an endless summer. He couldn’t stay in the sun for long, but he enjoyed the beach all the same. The gently rolling waves, the rustling sand, the shells washing up on shore, the crabs skittering about. It’s relaxing and, nostalgic, really.

The last time he had been on the beach like this was with his parents. He had been a little afraid of the ocean back then, but it was still undeniably beautiful. It’s still beautiful. So much has changed but this sparkling ocean and the vibrantly blue sky—they’re the same.

“Waaaaah! Look, Nagito-chan! It’s crazy spirally!”

“Ah, yes, I can see that, Mioda-san.” He laughs as he should but quiets as Mioda continues to admire the shell that looks like a brown spiral. “You should keep that one if you really like it. I doubt Usami will mind if we keep a few shells for ourselves...”

Something pricks his foot when he steps forward. He flinches at the sting. He pulls the shell out of his sole, and unsurprisingly, it’s another spiky brown shell that resembles Hinata Hajime.

_This is a cruel use of symbolism._

“Ooh, Nagito-chan, that’s bleeding pretty badly!” Mioda shouts. “I’ll get Mikan-chan right away! I’ll hop to it, like you’ll be doing!”

“Ah, I appreciate...” Mioda ran off before he could finish. “Mm.”

There’s not much to do but just plop down on the sand and wait, sighing as he does.

_These days are exceedingly carefree, aren’t they?_

He held the shell up, observing it in the brilliant sunshine.

_They’re almost unbearably so. Days that are just filled with sunshine and smiling faces—just what is this? Is this really what my luck was leading to?_

He frowned, puffing out his cheeks.

_Ridiculous. It’s a waste of time if nothing significant happens. And I don’t have much of that._

He shivers at the thought but when Tsumiki comes scrambling up with her first aid kit, he quickly puts on his usual calm smile. He laughs, apologizing for the trouble, and tries not to flinch as Tsumiki disinfects the cut. Tsumiki apologizes, too, but he’s quick to brush it off.

_Days like these—laughing without worry, spending time with everyone, just enjoying everything—it isn’t meant for someone like me._

Tsumiki’s careful when bandaging up his foot. She’s focused, even with those teary eyes of hers.

_It’s too lackluster. Too uninspiring. Too tame. Too...normal._

“N-Now be careful on this foot, alright, Komaeda-san?!”

“Ah, thank you, Tsumiki-san!”

“ _Waaaaaaaah_!”

“Oh no, please don’t cry, Tsumiki-san!”

_It’s not right. It’s not right. It isn’t..._

“Oi, Tsumiki!”

“H-Hinata-san...!”

And of course it was Hinata. Who else would it be but Hinata? No one else. It would _never_ be someone other than _Hinata_.

“Did something happen?”

“I’m just helping Komaeda-san along! He, um, hurt his foot, so...”

“Ah, I see.”

Hinata glanced at him. He hurriedly glanced away.

“Souda got into a bit of an accident at the military base.”

“O-Oh no!” Tsumiki gasped, stricken. “Does he need me?!”

“Yeah, I’ll take care of Komaeda so can you rush over there, Tsumiki?”

“Right away! Sorry, Komaeda-san!”

“Oh, no, don’t worry about me,” Komaeda laughed. His smile strained as Hinata steadied him after Tsumiki scampered away. “Thank you for the help, Tsumiki-san!!”

Tsumiki didn’t even look back. She was gone before long.

Leaving him and Hinata together. Aah, already there was a heavy, awkward silence in the atmosphere.

“Come on, Komaeda.”

Hinata began to tug him along. Swallowing, he could only nod.

“Ah, of course, Hinata-kun. Sorry for the trouble.” He bites his tongue. “I hope Souda-kun is okay.”

“He should be fine with Tsumiki looking after him,” Hinata said. “There wasn’t much blood but... He did seem pretty out of it.”

Hinata shivered a little, clearly worried but... Still, Hinata kept close to him.

“I can make it to my cabin on my own, actually,” Komaeda said. “As much as I appreciate your help, it’s unnecessary, Hinata-kun.”

“It’s no big deal, Komaeda.” Hinata sighs heavily. “Just...let me help.”

_So pushy. Is this really a suitable distraction, Hinata-kun?_

Still, Hinata could be quite stubborn. There was no point in arguing, really. Not at all.

_Not at all..._

“Hey, Komaeda...what about you?”

Komaeda perked up. Hinata’s frown twisted before his face scrunched up. Under the island sun, Hinata was especially radiating warmth.

“I’m not sure what you mean,” he said sincerely. “What about me? Did I do something wrong? I wouldn’t be surprised.” A soft, self-effacing laugh. “I know how I can be. I apologize, Hinata-kun.”

“It’s nothing like that,” Hinata almost snapped. “It’s... Well. I’m worried about you, too. You seem to have a lot on your mind. Do you want to talk about it, or...?”

Komaeda shook his head.

“There’s nothing to discuss,” he replied smilingly. “Your compassion touches my heart as always, but there’s nothing to discuss. Nothing at all. Not at all.”

Hinata’s frown deepened into a grimace. But he didn’t push it. For that, Komaeda was grateful.

They traveled the rest of the way in silence, with Hinata helping Komaeda to the door. Komaeda smiles and thanks him cheerily, apologizing for the trouble as he should, but Hinata still has this complicated face.

_Hinata-kun can be a rather complicated person, I suppose._

“You should check on Souda-kun,” Komaeda said gently. “He’s your friend, after all. And I know you’re worried about him.”

“I’m worried about you, too,” Hinata grumbled. “You’re also my friend, y’know.”

_No. I don’t._

“Aha, are you saying that to be nice? I appreciate it, I suppose.” All the same, he shrugged his shoulders. “But I’m fine. Souda-kun actually _is_ injured. You should go see him. I won’t keep you any longer!”

“Komaeda, wait.”

He pauses just as he opens his door. His smile strains.

“Let’s talk later, okay?” Hinata seems almost desperate. “Not now, but—later. Definitely.”

There’s not much to do but keep his head down.

“Okay. If you want.”

“That’s what I want.” Keeping his head up, Hinata nods before waving him off. “I’ll be seeing you, then.”

“See you.”

Before Hinata’s even gone from sight, Komaeda yanks the door shut behind him after slipping inside.

* * *

For a while, he rests. He can’t very well work with his foot injured. Usami tells him as much—she practically wails when he tries to leave to get some cleaning done at least. To his dismay, she was impossible to deter and so, he was stuck resting.

It simply couldn’t be helped.

“Is your foot really that bad?”

“It isn’t, but... The wound is quite deep, actually. So it’s going to take a while to heal.”

“Ah.” A pause. Hinata holds up a book. “I brought you this from the library. Y’know, uh, in case it gets too boring.”

It’s a book he’s already read and hadn’t exactly enjoyed. All the same, Komaeda accepts it with a gratuitous smile and a laugh.

“Souda’s alright,” Hinata told him. “But Owari and Togami somehow got food poisoning. Probably Saionji’s doing. Hanamura’s really distraught. Tsumiki seriously has her hands full.”

“It seems like it!” he laughs. “Goodness, our class is really rowdy, isn’t it?”

“You’re telling me,” Hinata gives a long-suffering sigh. “It really gets ridiculous sometimes. And oftentimes it’s just too much to handle. I envy you for getting an extended break, even if it sucks you had to get injured for it.”

_So is this good luck, then? Bad luck? Neither?_

He wasn’t sure. But, in a situation like this—sunlight is filtering through his curtains. It’s warm and Hinata has... Hinata’s really made himself at home in _his_ cabin.

It’s...weirdly exciting and terrifying. Even though Hinata himself is so _at ease_.

“Hinata-kun, do you remember anything?” he asked. “Anything that could potentially help you figure out your talent?” His breath hitches. “J... Just asking!”

Hinata doesn’t seem to notice, even as he perks at the question. Nonchalantly, he shakes his head with a groan.

“Sorry, no. I still don’t have any idea.”

“Ahh, how despairing...”

_And so frustrating! But I suppose it can’t be helped. Memory is fickle and memory loss can be...peculiar in both fiction and reality._

“But I have been thinking,” Hinata said. “I do remember a little about my time in my previous schools.”

“Oh, have you?”

It’s a time Komaeda himself hasn’t much thought about. His school days were all unremarkable, insignificant, filled with faceless nobodies and blurring into an indistinct timeline of days, weeks, and years. The only moments that stand out in his memories are ones marred by extreme instances of luck.

He doesn’t care for those times, but, he still finds himself curious.

“What about it, Hinata-kun?” he asks.

Hinata sucks in his breath. Hinata leans against his wall.

“I don’t...remember any part of school life being this carefree,” he said. “I probably had friends but I don’t really remember them and—I can’t help but feel like this is the first time I’ve ever really been close with my class before.”

Komaeda blinks once. Twice.

_Hinata-kun gets along so well with everyone. Hinata-kun’s pretty social, isn’t he? Maybe that’s his talent. What a wonderful talent, then._

He laughed. “Really? But others seem so naturally drawn to you, Hinata-kun!”

_...if that’s not really the case, then..._

“Yeah I can’t explain that either,” Hinata said. “I mean. It’s weird, but... I do like being around them. Of course I do. The others can be pretty crazy but... They’re a lot of fun, too. It’s honestly really...freeing. In a way I feel completely unfamiliar with.”

_Freeing?_

“Even when I’m around you,” Hinata rambled on. “I feel a lot at ease. Almost like I don’t have anything to actually worry about. I mean, yeah you say some pretty worrying things, but... That... _Urgh._ What am I trying to say again?”

“You tell me,” Komaeda replied kindly. Blankly.

“I think what I mean to say is that... Even though this situation was so outrageous at the start and even though I still can’t wrap my head about the whole Usami thing, I... I really enjoy palling around with everyone like this.”

Flustered, Hinata rubs at the nape of his neck.

“And I’m telling you because... You’re the easiest one to tell all this to, honestly. Though I can’t...really, begin to explain that. It...” His cheeks darken. “I-It’s embarrassing, actually.”

Embarrassing. That’s a good word for it, Komaeda supposes.

_Aah. For me, it’s..._

“Palling around with everyone,” he said quietly. “Enjoying the days. Being so carefree. Those are all supposed to be a normal part of school life, right?”

“I...” Hinata shrugs. “I guess. No, I... I think you’re right.”

“Then these things, I suppose...” Komaeda trails off. “They bloom and wither in ordinariness.”

Hinata blinks, lips parting.

“That’s a pretty poetic way to put it,” he said. “Do you mean because school days are ephemeral?”

“Life itself is ephemeral,” Komaeda said, drawing his knees in. “Like flowers themselves. Sometimes more beautiful when they bloom in adversary.”

“Aah, I see.” Hinata nods respectfully. “Then I guess we should just enjoy our time here.”

_Is that all it is? Is that all we should do? Is that all I should expect? After **everything?**_

Hinata grinned like it was nothing, but in Komaeda, frustration and aggravation swirled up like a whirlpool inside of him, rising up and drowning him as he puffed out his cheeks and shivered.

“Komaeda?”

Komaeda buried his face into his knee, taking in a deep, shuddering breath.

“Komaeda, is everything alright?!”

Suddenly, Hinata was close. Right by his bed rather than sitting at the wall a respectable distance away. Hinata was close. And yet, he felt so, so far away.

“...Hinata-kun.”

“Komaeda!”

_He’s quick to respond._

“Hey...” Slowly, blearily, Komaeda meets his gaze. “Would you say you’re content to just enjoy everything on this trip as it comes? Even if you never remember your talent? Even if you never figure it out? Somehow, I can’t help but really doubt that.”

Hinata flinched, but even though he hesitates, he does still nod.

“Well, yeah, I... Obviously I... I still really need to remember. I-It’s my _talent_ , Komaeda. It’s why I’m here. Of course I feel obligated to remember something like that.”

_Obligated? Obligated. Right. He’s right. He’s an Ultimate after all._

Smiling, Komaeda nods in agreement.

“Right! Your talent is super important, Hinata-kun!” he chirps. “After all, it’s what marks you as a symbol of hope! It’s why you’re here! It’s... It’s super, super, incredibly, _undeniably_ important!”

Hinata does nod in return, but he looks more troubled than anything. And then, Hinata seats himself on the bed, causing it to sink under his weight.

_Huh?_

“You’re really worried about that, too, aren’t you?”

_Huh, huh, huh, huh, huh?_

“Ah, um, of course I would be,” Komaeda tries to laugh but it comes out as a strangled wheeze instead, leaving him rubbing at his throat. “Talent is everything in a world like this. And in Hope’s Peak Academy, it’s a part of your very identity. To not remember it, um, it—it would be like a part of you is missing, right? So it’s undeniably...important. As I said.”

“Yeah,” Hinata agrees. “You’re right. But you’re always like that.”

_I don’t understand. I don’t understand._

“A-Ahaha... Haha... Like what, Hinata-kun?”

“You’re always so concerned about other people,” Hinata said. “Like you can’t help but feel personally involved. And this whole...thing about talent... You seem to stress over it a lot. No one else really does.”

**_I just don’t understand._ **

“I-Is that a bad thing?” he asked. “It isn’t, right? I mean, I’m not wrong. Like, maybe the others don’t...fully understand...but... Oh that’s not to say that they’re lacking in understanding! Goodness, I would never dare to be so impertinent to suggest such a thing! But it is complicated...and difficult...conveying everything that should come so naturally. It’s really, really frustrating but... It’s just because I’m hapless. I can’t explain anything right at all.” He shakes his head. “It’s no one else’s fault but my own.”

For a while, Hinata was quiet.

“It’s true,” he said. “Sometimes you’re really hard to understand. And it’s really overwhelming.”

Komaeda winced.

“Aha... Even if it’s true and I know it to be true... Hearing you say that stings a little, Hinata-kun.”

_I really am so pathetic._

“T-That’s not what I...!” Hinata flushed, gritting his teeth. “I mean...! Yes that’s true sometimes, but right now, I’m pretty sure I understand. I just...don’t know how to respond.”

“Just hearing you say you understand makes me really happy,” he replied. “I don’t need anything else, Hinata-kun.”

And that much was true. He was happy. His head was in a whirl and his heart was going a mile a minute, but—hearing Hinata say that... It really, really made him happy.

“A-Actually I’m so happy I might just burst into tears!” he exclaimed. “Hinata-kun, your kindness really is so...so wonderful! So incredible! Oh, whatever will I do? I might very well end up liking you too much for your own good!”

Hinata blushed a brilliant crimson. Like a rose.

_Ah. Crimson?_

It was weird, it was sudden, and he quickly brushed it off to admire the blush.

“You really say those kinds of things _way_ too easily,” Hinata grumbled. “ _That’s_ beyond overwhelming.”

“Oh, no!” Komaeda gasped. “I truly am sorry, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata sighed.

“No, it... It’s fine. It’s just the kind of person you are.” He was quiet, lashes lowering. Such pretty lashes, really. Especially over that warm hazel shade of Hinata’s irises. “It’s kind of ironic, really.”

“What is?”

“You’re so carefree like this, when we’re together like this, but when it comes to being with everyone else... You always seem so on edge.” Hinata bit at the inside of his cheek. “Maybe that’s just because of your luck or something but... I can’t help but worry about you. If even I can enjoy myself on this weird trip, then... I think you should be enjoying yourself a lot, too, Komaeda.”

“I do enjoy myself!” he argued. “Of course I do! Just being around the Ultimates is a pleasure! And this island really is a tropical paradise! It’s not at all like I don’t enjoy any of it!”

“That’s not what I mean,” Hinata snapped. “I mean... You’re always smiling but... There’s always this tense edge to your smile. You... You need to relax, Komaeda, just a little. Even if your luck strikes, I’m sure everyone will find a way to bounce back, so... You don’t need to worry so much. Just... Just enjoy yourself. That’s more what I mean.”

**_I really don’t understand, but..._ **

“When you say it with a face like that, I can’t help but really want to comply,” he said. “Maybe that’s your talent, Hinata-kun. Ultimate Manipulator. Or Ultimate Seducer.”

“I don’t want a dubious talent like that!”

Komaeda couldn’t help but giggle.

“Still... Your family name is fitting, Hinata-kun. Like the sun, I can’t help but be drawn in.”

Hinata’s cheeks darken. He stiffens.

“I’ll try to relax,” Komaeda said. “So that you don’t worry so much.”

“You should do it for your own sake,” Hinata said. “Not because you don’t want me to worry.”

Komaeda hummed. “Mm, well... It’s partially for that... And partially because the idea that you look at my smiles so closely that you notice when they’re tense is... Honestly pretty disconcerting. You really shouldn’t stare so much, Hinata-kun.”

Hinata nearly choked.

“S-Sorry! Sorry! That... That’s really not my intention! I’ll try not to stare so hard!” He exclaims. “J-Just... Just... Just do...that. Try to relax. Yeah.”

_You’re really so cute it’s hard to take._

“Yeah,” Komaeda echoes. “Okay.”

Like the sun, Hinata lights up.

_It’s especially hard when you smile at me like that, Hinata-kun._

* * *

It’s strange. Trying to relax. Trying not to worry. Not to think. But, really, it’s better this way. Unless something happens, this is how things will be. It’s best to accept that. It’s best to accept it with ease.

Perhaps he won’t die as soon as he thought. It’s a mildly disappointing thought, but it simply was what it was.

He might as well relax.

...

“Komaeda, can you handle the sweeping? I’ll handle the dusting.”

“Right away, Koizumi-san!”

...

“Komaeda-kun, I need a specific draw for this game. Can you help?”

“Of course, Nanami-san!”

...

“Komaeda-nii! I lost my sandal! Help me find it or I’ll throw my other one at your big stupid fluff-head!”

“Absolutely, Saionji-san! No need to worry!”

...

“Oh, Komaeda-san, you simply _must_ accompany me today! Mioda-san said that you always have the most interesting finds!”

“A-As you wish, Sonia-san!”

...

“Nagito-chan! Let Peko-chan feel your fluffy hair! See, Peko-chan, isn’t it the fluffiest?!”

“Fluffy fluff...”

“Ahaha...haha...hahaha...”

...

He might as well _relax_.

...

“Yo Komaeda, you’re good with getting out grease stains, right? If I take this to Koizumi, she’ll just yell at me, so...”

“Ah, okay. I’ll handle it, Souda-kun!”

...

“Hoho! What a good helper bee you are, Komaeda-kun! You really know how to butter me up! So slick! Making _me_ slick, y’know what I’m saying?”

“Unfortunately I do, Hanamura-kun.”

...

“KOMAEDA!!! You’re too THIN!!! WORK OUT WITH US!!!”

“U-Um... O-Okay, Nidai-kun!”

“I can’t _HEAR YOU_!!!”

**_“OKAY!!!”_ **

...

“What is it, Komaeda?”

“N-Nothing, Togami-kun!”

...

“Silver fool of fortune! Dare you tread upon the sandpits of hell where the Devas currently frolic?!”

“Oh, sorry, Tanaka-kun!”

“Hmph! You dare try to reconcile with mere platitudes! Just one wrong step and I would have sent you beyond the torments of hell threefold!”

“I... I have some sunflower seeds to show how sorry I am.”

“FOR NOW YOUR OFFERING IS PERMITTED BUT **_NEXT TIME_** —!”

...

**_I might relax so much I’ll actually die at this rate!!_ **

...

He ended up relaxing so much he got stuck in a bed with a fever after overheating.

“You should’ve expected this,” Hinata said, opening a Blue Ram for him. “Not too long ago, our positions were switched.”

“Hahaha! Those symbols of hope really are...overwhelming!” Komaeda downed the soda. The chill of it caused his throat to sting, but it was much appreciated against the heat. He sighs, pressing the cold can to his forehead. “Hinata-kun, I’m really not cut out for socializing at all. It’s something that I’m utterly hopeless at. Of course, I’m trash so that’s to be expected but...”

“You’re not trash,” Hinata snapped. “So that’s not why.”

Komaeda frowned at him before pouting.

“You’re such an annoyingly stubborn person,” he huffed. “Sometimes, it’s part of your charm, but other times...”

“Oi, oi,” Hinata cut in, waving his hand. “You’re pretty stubborn yourself.”

“It’s rude to cut someone off when they’re talking!” Komaeda exclaimed. “Even if I’m trash, I expect some level of manners from you, Hinata-kun!”

Hinata flinched, and Komaeda turned away with an _hmph_.

“I already know that formality most certainly isn’t your talent, but still...” He sips at his drink irritably. “You really should tone it down when someone’s _sick_.”

“Sorry,” Hinata muttered meekly. “You’re right; I should.”

When he finishes the soda, Hinata hands him another open can.

“I have quite a few and I know you like these, so you can have as many as you want.” Hinata does smile a little. “It’s no big deal. It’s not like they cost anything. That’s pretty cool about this place, huh? Not having to worry about money, I mean.”

Komaeda was quiet for a bit.

“I’ve never had to worry about money,” he murmured. “I’ve always been fortunate in that regard, at least.”

Hinata perks up at that.

“Really? You’re rich? Guess that explains your eccentric fashion sense.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Komaeda grumbled. “I dress the way I do because I _want_ to. I don’t see how money has to do with any of it.”

“It’s...” Hinata bites his tongue. “They’re clearly customized but... You’re wearing some high brand stuff.”

Komaeda blinks once. Twice.

“I didn’t think you would notice something like that,” he said. “Hinata-kun, are you familiar with brands? Maybe that’s related to your talent! I mean, your own fashion sense is... Mmgh. But that doesn’t necessarily mean...”

“Mmgh? What do you mean by _mmgh_?!”

“Mmgh... I mean...” He trails off. “You’re clearly just in some uniform. But your tie—it looks like it might come alive and strangle me.”

“What’s _that_ supposed to mean?!”

“I don’t trust it. Not at all.”

“What do you have against my tie?!”

“The lettering, I guess?”

“The lettering?!”

“Hinata-kun, you’re giving me a headache with your yelling. Tone it down.” Komaeda coughed. “I’m _sick_ , remember?”

Hinata quieted and apologized again, head bowed and actually looking rather ashamed. Komaeda waved him off with a hand and a laugh.

“Anyway, maybe brand recognition is a part of your talent,” he went on. “That or you’re from a surprisingly well-off family. I wouldn’t know something like that. Come to think of it, you don’t really talk about that kind of thing. There’s nothing wrong with it, of course, and trash like me dare not implore on something so...personal.”

“I...” Hinata hesitated. “There’s really nothing to talk about. From what I remember, it’s all pretty normal. I guess my parents made quite a bit of money, but—we lived comfortably. Nothing fancy.”

_Fancy, huh?_

He remembers several toys, fancy parties, large and grand but ultimately open and empty spaces.

“Maybe Hinata-kun just has an eye for prestige, then,” he said cheerily. “I suppose there’s nothing strange about that.”

_Though that’s pretty despairing. The divide between classes, like with talent and untalented, can be a bit..._

“That might be it,” Hinata replied. “But ultimately it’s just whatever.”

“Ultimately whatever,” Komaeda echoed.

He still feels pretty warm in the face, but is it just because of the fever? He isn’t sure. He doesn’t really want to think about it.

He finishes the second Blue Ram. It helps a little.

“I’ll leave you to rest for a bit more,” Hinata says and gets up to the rest of the soda in the mini-fridge. “Just let me know if you run out or something, yeah?”

“Aha. Okay. If you want.” _I can get more myself._ “Hinata-kun, you should get going. You’ve wasted enough time.”

Hinata glared at him, but sighed.

“It wasn’t...a waste of time,” he muttered. “We’re friends, after all. I’ll be visiting you again later.”

_Those words put a pang in my heart._

**_Because those words were his, once._ **

He wonders why? But at the same time, he feels like he _really_ shouldn’t think about it.

“I’ll see you, Komaeda.”

“...See you.”

_It really does hurt so much. And I don’t understand. I have no idea..._

**_No, that’s wrong. Deep down, you know why. But you’re right. You shouldn’t think about it. So stop thinking, Nagito. Just...stop._ **

The door closes, and all he can do is lay down and try to sleep.

* * *

He has to spend another day resting because that’s just how weak he is. Pathetic, yes, but it can’t be helped. He’ll just have to do his best when he can.

He’s given cleaning duty again, and that’s just fine and acceptable. Cleaning is one of the few things he’s good at, after all.

To make up for getting sick, he does end up trying to do most of the work. Kuzuryuu gripes at him, but in the end, everything is sparkling clean and he’s happy. Kuzuryuu, predictably, leaves in a huff. That’s a bit of a shame, but it’s one he expected.

All he can really do is brush it off and finish up with putting everything away. The rest of his day is a free space, so he’s at a loss as to what to do next. Maybe read? Or a movie?

_Or... Shouldn’t I expect...?_

“Yo, Komaeda, are you done?”

The question is asked immediately once he’s outside the lodge. It’s exactly who he’d expect it to be.

**_Of course._ **

“Hinata-kun,” he says. “Aha, greetings.”

Hinata waves, and Komaeda would have to be a fool to not notice the _sparkling_ pink ticket in his grip. Before he can so much as bite his tongue, Hinata’s already shoved the gaudy thing into his face.

“L-Let’s go somewhere.” Hinata swallows. “Just the two of us. It’s been a while since we hung out. And, honestly... I feel like you’re someone one of the people I have the least amount of hope fragments with.”

Komaeda can only laugh, begrudgingly accepting.

“Oh, Hinata-kun, you’re too kind. Too considerate.” There’s a biting edge of sarcasm. “I can’t refuse you at all, can I?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

_...you’re so blunt it might just inflict me with trauma one of these days, Hinata Hajime-kun. Still._

“Ehe, yeah, that’s right. So, then, let’s get going.”

He really, really doesn’t have a choice in the matter.

* * *

The first thing they do together, predictably, is see a movie. It’s a horror and the effects aren’t very good.

“Fake,” Komaeda said, sipping at his drink. “So clearly fake. That doesn’t even look like meat.”

“I-It’s still actually pretty gruesome,” Hinata muttered, looking a little pale. “Guess what they lack in special effects, they make up for with a weird amount of gusto.”

“You’re right, they are a little too gleeful in killing each other, aren’t they? Honestly, it’s pretty strange that Usami would even permit something like this...”

And then before he could finish, right before their eyes, the film strip burned to pieces right there on the screen. And Usami’s tearful announcement of ‘technical issues; please watch something else’ played over the announcements. The lights flickered on.

Hinata let out a sigh of relief. Komaeda blew bubbles, clearly unimpressed.

“What low quality,” he said. “One star. And that’s being generous.”

“Sorry,” Hinata laughed, offering his hand. “Let’s go do something else, then.”

With a huff, Komaeda took it.

“This is a poor start, Hinata-kun.”

“Things might get better. Have hope. Isn’t that what _you’d_ say?”

_It is, but still..._

Despite that poor start, things did get considerably better. When they walked along the beach and talked amicably, not much happened. When they rested under the shade in the grass by the statue, they took care to be wary of any coconuts that could fall atop them. Or rather, Komaeda had insisted they be careful and Hinata had listened to him.

Hinata listened to him a lot. Listened to what he had to say, what he thought, even when all he was saying was mindless, thoughtless chatter. Hinata never told him to shut up.

He wasn’t used to that. But if he dwelled too much on such a stupidly minor thing, he certainly would get Hinata annoyed enough to leave.

_I don’t...actually want that._

He tried to not think about it, but of course, it continued to niggle on the back of his mind. Stuck like a leech.

And, yet, Hinata’s smile began to put him at ease. Just his smile, regardless of the emotion underlying it. His cheerful smile, his exasperated smile, his grimacing smile, his comforting smile—

_When I had suggested to this person that their talent might be to soothe others when their presence—I wasn’t being completely facetious._

“Let’s hang out again soon,” Hinata said. “Since that movie date was a bust, how about we do something else the day after tomorrow. Your schedule’s open, right, Komaeda?”

“It is...but you sure you don’t want a longer break from me first?” He laughed, but it had been a serious question.

And Hinata had very seriously shaken his head in response.

“Nah, I want to hang out with you again as soon as possible.”

**_Ah._ **

His heart skipped a beat. His cheeks flushed. Right there, under the island sun in a tropical summer paradise—Komaeda could only think of spring.

“If you say so,” he replied. “Then I guess it’s okay.”

Hinata grinned.

Again, at the sight of that summery sunshine smile, Komaeda thinks of spring.

* * *

The next time, Hinata takes him to the library. It’s utterly uneventful and quaint, and there’s a reason the library is one of Komaeda’s favorite places on the island, if not his absolute favorite. Hinata’s much of a reader, but he does have a measure of insight. Most of the time, however, Hinata just listens to him talk.

_Hinata-kun’s a good listener. I know that already._

He knows, he knows, he knows, and, _yet_ —

“Have you ever busted a watermelon before?”

“Of course not! Would you trust someone like me blindfolded and holding a weapon? That would be ridiculous!”

“You really think it’d turn out that badly? Well, I’m pretty bad at it, too...”

“Haha! Looks like we’ll have to bust them the boring way, Hinata-kun! That’s what you get for hanging out with me!”

“Eh, whatever.”

Hinata could be easygoing when he wasn’t getting overwhelmed. That, too, was something he knew pretty well. All things considered, it was no wonder Hinata got along with others so well.

_If it wasn’t for the circumstances, he wouldn’t bother me. It’s just because of Usami’s orders that we’re like this. Because this is what has to happen on this so-called school trip._

This is what his luck had been leading to. The illusion of hanging around normally with his classmates. It was like he actually made friends.

_Funny, that. And a little cruel, too. But it can’t be helped._

He wondered what he should do, then, in this case. He had been just going along with it for a while but he still felt remarkably uneasy.

_It’s just because of the circumstances...but... Hinata-kun did say that we were friends._

**_And you believe him?_ **

_I... Do I...?_

**_Do you?_ **

“I...”

And he thought about it. He really thought about it.

“Of course... I do. Because Hinata-kun wouldn’t...”

“Wouldn’t what?”

“Lie like that, I don’t think?”

“What?” Hinata blinked at him several times. “Komaeda, _what_ are you talking about?”

Komaeda snapped up. _Huh?_

Flushing a bit, he hurriedly tried to laugh it off.

“Ahaha, sorry, sorry, I was just...talking to myself, I suppose...” He waved his hand. “Sometimes I get so caught up in my own head. Pretty silly, right? It’s pretty stupid, too, getting caught up in a rotten head like mine...”

Hinata frowned.

“It happens,” he said. “Don’t beat yourself up over it.”

A pause. It was awkward, but, maybe that was for the best, Komaeda wanted to hurry up and forget about it anyway. He should focus his efforts on building his half of the sand castle! Right, he needs another tower right over here and—

The ocean waves wash up, and take the entire thing away.

_Right. This is how it goes._

It left behind a pretty shell, at least. Hinata takes it with a slight look of awe. Komaeda snorts, remembering the shell he stepped on—the one he kept on his bookshelf with the other trinkets.

“Hey,” Hinata said. “What did you mean, anyway?”

He should’ve known.

“Don’t worry about it,” Komaeda replied, smile straining. “As I said, my head is rotten, so...”

“Komaeda.” Hinata stops him, even as he fidgets with the shell. “What did you mean when you said I wouldn’t lie like that? Lie about what?”

“About...” There’s no point in lying here. “About us being friends. O-Obviously I’d wonder about that, but—you’re not...a liar, Hinata-kun.”

“No,” Hinata says quietly. “I wouldn’t lie about that. You’re right.”

Komaeda nodded firmly.

“Yeah, so don’t worry! I don’t...doubt you... I wouldn’t doubt your words...”

He trails off, and there’s a ping on his student pad. He checks it, half-dreading, half-knowing. And, of course, a gleaming star now marks Hinata’s profile.

Komaeda laughs again, even as the sound slowly dies down.

“Wow, already? I guess that’s the end of it, then. We don’t need to see any more of each other.”

_That’s why Hinata-kun approached me in the first place, right? Because we were lacking on hope fragments?_

It’s as though his very heart leapt in his throat. He quickly swallows it down.

_Right... Right... That’s why... Yes, it’s true we’re friends but... Hinata-kun’s friends with everyone, not just me. Hinata-kun might be my first and only friend but that’s—_

**_That’s—!_ **

_That’s not the case of Hinata-kun. Hinata-kun has plenty of friends. I’m not anything special to him like he is to me. So... So, so, so, so..._

“Komaeda.” The rustling of the waves. The glimmering sea by the horizon. The shimmering sun from above. Hinata’s hands are so warm on his frail shoulders. “Komaeda. Breathe.”

He breathes in salt. He coughs a bit, but Hinata’s quick to wipe off his chin before he can so much as reach for it.

_Hinata-kun... Hinata-kun is..._

Hinata’s close, he notices. So close. And then, Hinata’s lips lightly brush against his own. Hinata cups his face, and the kiss deepens. Dazedly, Komaeda presses back.

_Hinata-kun tastes like the ocean air. But rather than breathing, I’m suffocating._

All things considered, it wasn’t bad, so his eyes fall shut and he lets himself be swept away just as he’d be taken by the waves.

* * *

He’s still in a daze long after they separate and long after he’s been returned to his cabin. He’s not sure how long he’s been lying there on his bed, actually, staring blankly at the ceiling, lips buzzing, and cheeks still warm when he touches them.

_I never even dreamed someone like me ever would be kissed before. It’s..._

He licks his lips. There isn’t any salt on them. It doesn’t taste like anything.

_It’s different. It’s—_

**_Not as good—_ **

_It was nice, I think. But..._

He rolls over onto his side.

_What does this mean?_ He rubs at his lips, pondering. _We don’t need to see each other, Hinata-kun needs to collect the hope fragments of the other people here, but... Doesn’t that kiss mean he wants more than that? Why? Was it just a joke? A whim? I don’t...understand... But..._

But.

_I want to. More than anything, I want to understand Hinata-kun. I want to—_

**_Do you really?_ **

Komaeda nodded frantically. “Of course! I want to know everything about Hinata-kun! I want to understand him! Like...his talent, perhaps... His thoughts, his...”

**_Desires?_ **

The thought was so flustering that he had to cover his face.

“M-Maybe not that. I shouldn’t dare be so audacious. But... But...” He trails off. “But his talent would be nice to know. If he knows his talent, he can shine at his brightest. I want Hinata-kun...to shine... I... I want...”

_The hope that comes from that will be so...lovely, right? Because it’s Hinata-kun._

**_Because it’s him, that hope is out of reach._ **

Komaeda blinks once, twice. Briefly, his vision flickers between focused and unfocused. Briefly, he can _feel_ it. A presence that is and isn’t achingly familiar—to the point that it’s uncanny.

Komaeda pushes himself up.

“Hey... Who are you...?”

That presence wraps itself around him.

**_Do you really want to remember? I don’t think you do._ **

“I... No...” He shook his head, rubbing at his temple. It hurt, suddenly. “No... I... I don’t think I do, either, but... I do...”

_Hinata-kun..._

“I want to know... Hinata-kun’s talent. I _do_ want to know that.”

**_Okay. Then I’ll help you._ **

Komaeda groans as the pain worsens. His head is spinning, it hurts, it hurts—and then, after he’s curled in on himself, it all swirls before slowing down to a stop. When he uncovers his face, when he pushes himself up off the bed, he finds himself in a strange room.

“I... What...?”

It’s dirty. It’s dusty. Are those numbers on the wall written in blood or paint?

“I-I don’t... I don’t...”

There’s a door in front of him, and he eagerly rushes for it, shoving it open and slipping inside.

He finds himself in a strange hallway. It’s not dirty like the previous room, no... Instead it’s so spotless that it’s almost a different kind of unsettling. The multitude of weapons propped up against the walls don’t help. There is a singular window up ahead, at least.

Komaeda quickly checks outside.

_This is..._

Rows and rows of trees. A vibrantly blue sky.

_This is the fourth island. But where? I don’t...understand. Is this place part of the amusement park? I remember seeing some towers but I wasn’t sure if those were decorations or..._

He pulls back, shaking his head.

“...I’m here for a reason.”

**_You want to know the truth. And the truth was first discovered right here._ **

“First discovered...” Komaeda perks up, blinking. “Hey, have... Have I _been_ here before?”

This place did seem eerily familiar but he just didn’t understand. He’s never been to Jabberwock until Usami took them. Why _would_ he find this place familiar?

His head’s starting to hurt again. Fiercely enough that he groans as he holds it.

“Why...? Why...? I... Hck...! H-Hinata-kun...”

_I’m here because I want to know Hinata-kun’s talent! For... For Hinata-kun’s sake...! T-That... That...!_

He regained himself, but only barely, sighing out and rubbing at his forehead.

“What does any of this have to do with Hinata-kun?” he asked aloud. “All these weapons... Are they related to Hinata-kun’s talent? Is Hinata-kun the Ultimate Weapon...?”

**_...I suppose you could say that._ **

“You’re speaking in riddles,” Komaeda said. “That’s very annoying. I’m just a worthless nobody you know. Just pushing me around isn’t going to yield any benefits. I’m not...”

**_I know exactly who you are, Nagito. Of course I do._ **

“Who are you?”

**_..._ **

The rustling of a chain. Huh? A _chain_?

Komaeda spun around but the presence wasn’t there. What was there, however, was a small black notebook marked with the HPA insignia laying on the floor.

Slowly, tentatively, Komaeda reached out to pick it up.

“These are...?” Files. Student profiles. Of his entire class. His breath catches at the realization. “So this is it.”

_These files are going to list Hinata-kun’s talent. I can show them to Hinata-kun and then..._ He couldn’t help but beam. _He’ll be elated! Someone like me able to make Hinata-kun smile like that—!_

The thought gave him shivers! His heart skipped a beat, too. His hands were almost shaking.

“What is Hinata-kun’s talent?” he wondered, flipping it open. “What is it, what is it? Ultimate Detective? Ultimate Adventurer? Ultimate Friend? Ultimate _Neurologist_ —?”

He reads through.

Just as before.

Just

_As_

**_Before_ **

“...Huh?”

**_So do you rͨͮ̀̏͆͑̆̊̒e̵͗̀͊m̵̨͗̀̍ͩ̉̍͌e͋ͯ̊͝mͭͭ̃́b̅̈́̃҉͟eͧ͞r͆ͮͤ̄̕͟ now, Nagito?_ **

“T-This is a joke, right?” he asks, trembling all over. “These files... They’re a joke, right? This is cruel, you know. It’s too cruel! It has to be a joke, _right_?!”

_Hinata-kun, everyone—they couldn’t possibly be—!_

Cold arms wrapped around him, and a colder voice brushed up against his ear. He could feel the cold metal of a chain leash pressed up against his nape.

“I’ll help you remember all that you can, Nagito.”

“ _Eh_...?”

...

...

...

System Update: Data for K_M__D_ N_G_T_...

...

...

...

**Data has been corrupted.**

...

...

...

**Reloading...**

...

...

...

“S-Stop...!”

...

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Reloading, _reloading_ , **_reloading_**.

...

...

...

“Stop! Stop it! Stop it!”

...

...

...

**Data cannot be accessed.**

...

...

...

**Troubleshooting.**

...

...

...

**Reloading...**

...

...

...

“Stopitstopit _dontstop_ —!”

....

...

...

**Check the web for more details.**

...

...

...

Restarting...

...

...

...

“N-No... No... Please... No...”

...

...

...

55% Complete

...

...

...

“Stop... Please... J-Just... Leave... Leave... Let me die... I just want to die...! I just... I just...!”

...

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65% Complete

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“Hope... Despair... Hope... Despair... Hopehopehopehope—despairdespairdespairdespair—”

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74% Complete

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“Hope...hope...hope... H... H-Hinata-kun...? _Hinata-kun_?”

...

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“H-Hinata-kun...”

...

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82% Complete

...

...

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“Hinata-kun... Please...”

...

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“Stop...don’t...stop...”

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100% Complete.

**_Restarting._ **

...

...

...

H̸̴̷̱̩̹̲͚͎͙͎͍̗̗͍̥ͯ͑ͥͤ̑̋̍ͫ͑̌̄̾ͦ̈ͣͫ̂̅͂ͅe̡̖͈͇͓̮͓̼̯̰͔̞̳͐ͯ͒̍ͫ̄̇̓̓̕͠͞l̸̶͙̬̰̹͕̙̘͕̝̗̖͑͊̍̀̿̄̉ͣ̉̕͜l̆̇ͧ̽̍̈́̈́͆͠͏̢̪̗͇̩̠̱͟o̸̵̢̫̻̦̞̲̙͎͕̝͇̓̏̔̋ͮͩ̓ͭͣͬ̈̊,̴̨̨̲͖̘̮͉̳̠̦̦̪̠͍̭̻̬̮͙̺̈́̄͊̓̌̓͆͊͋͑̉͟ͅ ̺̖̙̘̼̂͋̇̈́̒͋ͤͭ͐ͧ͌̎ͤ͢͢J̢̢̡̬̙̞̬̠͇͍̅̃̆ͮ̇̇̉̈́̆̐̾̅̍̄ͭ̎ͯͮa̶̟͇̲̪͔͇͎̭̹͉̮͓̻ͬ̌̆͊ͣ͗ͯͭͤ̓ͤ̿ͨ̈͗̕͟ͅb̢̪̱͔͎̯͕̥̫͔͍̪̭̳͕̪̬͌̽͌̐͛̄̔ͬ͑̿͗͛b̌ͧͣ̽͂͗͏̷͇̳̲͖̞̲̲̗̗̳̘̯̫͍̳̟̘̕͡ę̵̴̴̱͚̮̫̯̱̹̪̼̖͇̼͈̈̎͋̎̿ͦ͗͗̽ͫͬͬ̕ͅr̷̸̡̼̦͓̫̤̞̮̝̘ͩͬ͒̄̍ͯͪͩ̿͛̊̍ͫͧ̉̅̕w̷̷̴̳͍̹̫̱͇͎̮͔̠̱̭̺̟̩̮͒̎ͯͪo̸̧̼̗͙̜̤͕͐͗̉̅̋c̶̷̡̦͖̠̜̼̪̉ͭ̿̃̎͑̎̈́͘͠ͅk̤̲͙̥͓̳͉̟͍͇̥̞͍̒̌ͤ̿ͣ͘͢ͅ ̵̱̜̲̥̘̲͖̗̠͕͔̭̫͉͉ͬ̔̌̀ͥͅI̗̟͍̞̳̝͖̼͉͖͍̟̞̺̹̘̜͕͒͌̎̌͌̍̋̿ͫ̿ͯ̽ͫ͢͠͝ͅs̠͉̖̹̭͙̝͔̝͈̜̪̬̦̜̣ͭ̑ͧͪ̿̾ͬ̈̃̐ͬ͗̈̈́ͫ͆ͧ͘͟͜lͣ̌͊͆̋͑ͩ̂̋͗̍̑̕͏̢̼̟̪̩̥̱̺̪͔̻͚͚̹̯a̫͓̪̩̦͍̰͓͎͍̘͓̮̲̥ͥ͂̈́ͭ̽ͨͦ̍͛͋̿́͑ͭ̈ͦ͊̚͟n̙̗̣̲̖͇͓ͭ̂̋ͭ̍̾̓ͩ̑̓̾͆ͭͩͣ͝͡d̶̆̒̓ͮ͏̣̹̟͔̰̖̞̼͎͉̺̩͍̝͈͠?̬̳͍̘̪̹̥͖̊̌̈̈́̅̒͟͞

 

 

* * *

 

_“Hey, can you hear me? You haven’t forgotten me, have you?”_

...

...

...

_“Komaeda...?”_

...

...

...

Komaeda’s eyes shoot open and he wakes up alone on the beach.

It’s night out. A wide expanse of shivering, glittering stars stretches over the island.

Everything is falling apart.

Komaeda pushes himself up, and he searches around.

“Everyone?”

He’s careful to avoid the spots where the sand is sinking in itself, more careful to avoid the falling stars overhead.

_It’s too dangerous to be out!_

“Everyone! Where are you?!”

_Are they all hiding? They’ve had to have taken up shelter, right, right?_

**_Stop!_ **

Komaeda stopped. A tree tumbled to the ground before him. He would’ve been crushed if he hadn’t stopped.

“Ah... That was close...” He steps over it, dashing forward. “Everyone! Everyone?!”

He manages to reach the hotel. Hotel Mirai. And he perks up happily at the realization that there’s someone standing there.

“Komaeda-kun.”

“Nanami-san! Where is everyone?”

“They’re alright, I think,” Nanami says, tugging down on her hood. She isn’t facing him. Not really. He can barely see the expression on her face with how dark it is, but that’s fine. “But, you...”

“I’m not the one you should worry about!” he exclaimed, rushing up. “What are _you_ doing outside?! It’s dangerous! Come on, Nanami-san, we need...to...?”

He reached out for her hand—and it went right through.

Hotel Mirai crumbled before his eyes, taking Nanami Chiaki with it.

“N-Nanami-san?!” Horrified, covering his mouth, he backed away. “No... No... W- _What_...? _Why_ —?!”

**_Forget about her._ **

“W-What?”

**_Move on._ **

“R-Right... Right... Um... What was I doing again?”

His head hurt. The sky trembled. He snapped up, remembering.

_Right! I need to find the others! Or shelter, at least! If the hotel and the cabins aren’t an option, then—!_

He ran off, still searching, still narrowly avoiding falling trees, falling stars, and the ground collapsing in patches.

“T-There has to be...has to be...somewhere...”

_Everyone...they’re safe, right? Yeah, they’re safe. Nanami-san said so. Wait, Nanami-san? Who...? I can’t remember. Was that the cow Usami brought? Or created?_

He was starting to get exhausted, especially with how hopeless things were looking. The hotel was gone. The bridges were gone. The farm was gone. Even the market was gone. And the airport—a plane crashed into that...

_Things can’t end like this! They can’t!_

The old building was still standing. Immediately, Komaeda rushed towards it.

_I don’t...have any other options... If I can just get lucky...!_

He slams the door shut behind him, sending up a flurry of dust that caused him to cough harshly into his sleeves.

_Everyone... Everyone..._

The lodge trembled, but, miraculously remained standing.

Komaeda wrung his feelings nervously, back against the door and sliding onto the floor. He drew in his knees.

“...hey...” Leaning back, he couldn’t help but wonder. “Am I going to die here?”

“Of course you won’t.”

He buries his face, laughing softly, shoulder trembling with the building.

“Things have really gone completely wrong, haven’t they?”

He uncovers his eyes.

“H̸̲͙̟̱̫̭̞̼ͭͬ̕i̵̬̭̯̺͕ͤ͌̑ͮ̈́ͪ̕͟n̛̮̝̤̲̱̥̫̜̒ͦá͊̀͌̽̓̈͏̮̫͕͔̗͠ͅt͒̉̆̇̈̅ͮ͏̢̫̳͉̫̱̥ͅā̷̵̛̘͈̥̝̝̖͍͆͛-̺̭̣̻͙͕̽͌ͯͤ̚ͅk̞͈̱̗̗̣͕̍̉̉̃͆̐̕u̥̦̅͋ͬ̔̔͒ͨ̓n͍̠̣͙̜̜̘̱̜ͬ̈́̅ͭ͢?̺̠̖̥ͪ͌̿̿ͧ̄͂ͩ̕”

His smile is sad and sardonic. He shakes his head.

“You really thought it’d be that easy?”

The person before him sighs.

“I had a feeling you’d make things difficult. That’s what you always do.”

“Well...” Komaeda stands up, dusting himself off. “You made a slipup from the start in trying to create a normal reality. There’s nothing normal about Jabberwock Island. How despairing! This was doomed from the start!”

He laughs and laughs. He receives no further remark. Just silence. And darkness. Darkness cloaking these walls and his person like a cloak.

“You’ll have to scrap everything,” Komaeda says cheerily. “And start fresh from a deeper point. I won’t—I would never accept an attempt this half-assed. But...”

_Even so..._

“It was still nice, trying to pretend,” he went on. “Trying to act like I could live and die a normal life—oh, if _only_ that could be true.”

Silence.

“Hey, are you really him?” Komaeda approaches them. “Or... Are you...?”

He reaches for them with his left hand, and his wrist is seized painfully. He barely has time to cry out before a hand slams over his mouth, shoving back the scream.

“I’ll save you, Nagito. I promise.”

“Hck...!” He’s yanked in, even though he struggles, even though he flails, beating his free fist against that broad chest to no avail. “Mm...! Nn...!”

They let go of his wrist. But he can’t feel his hand anymore, it’s like _it isn’t even there_ —and they wrap an arm around his waist.

“Sto...! **_K̡͘a̵̸͡m͘͟u͝҉k̷̵̡͜͞ư̸̶͠a̴͏-͡҉̕̕ķ̧̕͟u̷̷̢n̴̴͘͠_** —!”

He’s dragged down and swallowed into darkness. And bit by bit, he’s dissolved by blackness until he’s _nothing_.

* * *

Komaeda wakes with a start and in a cold sweat. Sunlight filters through the window of his dorm and birds tweet just outside, fluttering about the bird feeder he had set up.

Taking in a deep breath, Komaeda wipes off his forehead.

“A nightmare...?” He blinks a few times. “How strange...”

He checks his phone, frowning at the time. It’s a good twenty minutes before his alarm is set to go off. He sighs.

“I suppose I can get a shower before getting ready, then.”

He really had been sweating so much in his sleep. Disgusting. He’ll need to strip his bed and wash the sheets, too. It was what it was.

“Bad luck to start the day,” he mused. “I wonder if someone’s having a wonderful dream right now? Or maybe they’re living it.” He chuckled at the thought. “That would be nicer.”

He showers, washing his hair thoroughly and drying it completely afterwards. In spite of his best efforts, his hair remained floofy even as he tried to comb it down. Well, at least the comb didn’t snap.

Humming, he washed his face and dried it off next, leaving his cheeks flushed. Never one to miss a beat in his routine, he brushed his teeth and pushed back his cuticles.

His alarm blares, and he turns it off. He gets dressed in his uniform, tying his tie before tucking it meticulously.

_A return to normalcy—waking up earlier was a good thing. I might not be late to class this time if something happens on the way down. And something usually does._

But he doesn’t mind. After all, it always improved someone _else’s_ day.

He puts on his pendant last and touches it lightly.

_Maybe Matsuda-kun will have a breakthrough with that childhood friend of his. If that happens, it would be wonderful. He’s been so busy that he hasn’t been able to focus on much else. But that’s okay. As long as things go his way. Matsuda-kun deserves nothing less._

He smooths down any wrinkles in his uniform, adjusting and fixing his collar and tie if need be. With everything in order, he just needs to grab breakfast and be on his way.

_Maybe Souda-kun will have luck in wooing Sonia-san? Aah, or maybe Kuzuryuu-kun will grow a whole three centimeters!_

Whatever it would be, he overall had a good feeling all the same. Something did niggle at him, but, for now, he brushed it off.

* * *

...

...

...

_“There is no saving this. I have no choice but to destroy it.”_


End file.
